Blago Blather

Courtesy of C11:

http://culture11.com/article/34032?from=feature

Top 11 Ways to Profit Off A Senate Seat That Rod Blagojevich Was Going to Try Next
By C11 Staff, December 12, 2008

11) Posting it on Craigslist, but in the "therapeutic massage" section (to throw off suspicion).

10) Blackmailing Illinois voters: "Either you send me $5 million or I appoint Alan Keyes."

9) Appointing self to the Senate, finding a dishonest guy to appoint Illinois governor, explaining to him how valuable it can be to have a Senate appointment to dole out, and offering to resign from the Senate for half that.

8) Inventing device that converts wife's money-grubbing ambition into green energy.

7) Bouncing back from Fox's rejection of reality TV show called "The Appointee" by convincing Jeremiah Wright and William Ayers to commit, swaying network executives.

6) Appointing himself, then becoming the first corporate sponsored Senate office: This vote brought to you by K-Mart!

5) Going on The Price is Right, guessing price of Senate seat right on the nose.

4) Dividing up the term and selling it to multiple people as time-shares.

3) Appointing Rick Lazio, and arranging for his wife to run against Lazio, win, establish herself as a well-regarded, detail-oriented centrist with a reputation for 'toughness', then run for President.

2) Appointing Patrick Fitzgerald to Senate, avoiding thousands in legal fees.

1) Trading it for Superbowl tickets. Do you know how hard those are to get?!