A Conservative's Lament....

Lefties, be assured that the loyal opposition will be as courteous and respectful towards the Obamiracle worker as y'all was with chimpy mcbushitler!

But ya gotta love the demicans and republicrats! Each one claims to be sooo different from the other.

With one party I get:

-Tools who got beat up at recess who want to be my disciplinarian father - step out of line and "WHACK!"
-Constant federalization of criminal and family law and continual assaults on the 4th amendment.
-People who side with "law enforcement" no matter how egregious their conduct
-Men who fantasize that western values can be planted anywhere, regardless of the native soil, i.e, that the rule of law, free markets and religious tolerance are the natural state of affairs in the universe rather than the product of a long and painful cultural and political evolution in the West. (See the result of free elections in Gaza or the former Wiemar Republic - terrorists and Nazis were freely chosen by the electorate).
-People who think lawyers and lawsuits cause increases in insurance premiums rather than poor business practices by insurance companies and the lack of real competition
-People who think we should do away with the exclusionary rule
-People who have never read Robert Heinlein or Hunter S. Thompson
-People who listen to Jim Baker & Jimmy Swaggert
-People who like country music
-Women who who wear waaay too much make-up

With the other party, I get:

-a worrisome hand-wringing mother who thinks if she doesn't provide my sustenance, I'll just lay down and die, treating humans like cattle in need of nothing more than hay and a barn.
-Metro-sexual nancy-boys who fantasize that international politics is like high school, where pop culture popularity makes all the difference and who don't know that the current leadership in Iran, North Korea, Zimbabwe, Sudan, Venezuela, Argentina and Syria are dangerously insane.
-Continual assaults on the 1st & 2nd amendment, property rights and economic liberties
-People who think health care should be controlled by the same people who run the IRS, ATF, and Postal Service
-People who still think global climate changes are man-made
-Marxist wannabes who blame all the failures of government economic intervention and socialist policies on individual economic choices and the free market in general.
-People who think Che Guevara was something other than a psychotic murderer.
-People who look at their fellow citizens as members of a particular grievance group rather than as individuals
-People who have never read Ayn Rand or P.J. O'Rourke
-People who listen to Jeremiah Wright and Al Sharpton
-People who like indie, emo, screamo and Sean Penn
-Women who won't shave or wear make-up, but men who will shave (all over) & wear waay too much make-up

And both parties will gladly rack up the national debt & print money with impunity. Neither party will get rid of the income tax or cut the size of the federal government in any significant manner. Both will gladly pass on the tough decisions about Social Security to later administrations. As far as I'm concerned, they can both kiss my ass!

When do I get a government who will treat me like an adult and just leave me alone? PBBBBBBBBBBBBLT!